Friday 7 March 2008

MuMu - Is it all about cows then?

No, MuMu's short for Music and Mumblings, but if its cows you want...

SOCIALISM-
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equityswap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milkthemselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Sunday 2 March 2008

Music and Mumblings - 005 - Did the Earth Move For You?

Back at home in 'the studio' this week

Katie Herzig: Fool's Gold: Podsafe Music Network
The Futureheads: The Beginning of the Twist: Podsafe Music Network
Morning Lane: Nine Times a Day: Podsafe Music Network
Theatre of Disco: On the Train: Promonet
The Hold Steady: Chips Ahoy! Podsafe Music Network
The Orb: Vuja De (Pathaan's Musical Rickshaw Mix): Promonet


The Great Escape Festival

Israeli MP claims gay people cause earthquakes

Rss feed : Download : Play

Music and Mumblings - 004 - Big Bottoms, finding the G Spot, Pete and Not Dud.


The first 'Live' Music and Mumblings, with Pete Cogle From PC Podcast and the Dub Zone

The Protists: Caught in the Eye: Podsafe Music Network
Runt: The Kids: Podsafe Music Network
The Sterlinglane Project: Lonesome Heart: Podsafe Music Network
Mezzanine Owls: Snow Globe: Promonet 
Finest Dearest: Your Hometown: Promonet 
The Black Angels: Black Grease: Podsafe Music Network


The Great Escape Festival

Big Bottoms
G Spot Research

Music and Mumblings - 003 - Love by numbers, Mongrel Munching and Smegheads



Dont forget to recycle those sacksful of Valentine's Cards!

Thinking of having your bum tattoed?  Stop! Read the Grumbling Dragon blog instead.

Lightspeed Champion: Everyone I Know is Listening to Crunk : Podsafe Music Network
Los Campesinos: Drop it, Doe Eyes: Podsafe Music Network
Kwame D: Dignity: Podsafe Music Network
Poxfil: Wear My Crown: Jamendo
Venus Verse: Dreaming Again: Podsafe Music Network
Transmission: Bella Rosa: Promonet  


The Great Escape Festival

Love by numbers

Commercial Dog Cloning

Music and Mumblings - 002 - High heels, better sex, cup of tea and a slice of cake


Happy year of the Rat!

Try the Grumbling Dragon blog.

The Norfolk Rats: Rats Ass: Podsafe Music Network
Admiral Twin: The Unlucky Ones: Podsafe Music Network
Rusty Wright: Hell on my Heels: Podsafe Music Network
Fruitcake Superbeing: Mighty Big Shoes : Podsafe Music Network
Future Kings of Nowhere: 10 Simple Murders: Podsafe Music Network
Easy Star All Stars: Bed of Rose: Promonet  

Background music : Transmission: Glade : Promonet   (more from transmission next time)

Those news items I promised you all...

High heels may improve sex life
Mr Woodcock does it at work (allegedly)